Hello! My name is Valerie, and I’m a junior in high school. My testimony begins as many others do: I grew up in a Christian household, fortunate to have loving parents who made it their goal to introduce me to who Jesus is. As a child, I listened to what my Sunday school teachers said, raised my hand when prompted, and never gave Christianity a second thought. To me, it was just another somewhat mundane fact in life: the sky is blue, 2+2=4, and Valerie was a Christian.
However, my ignorance on the subject changed when I began middle school – I started making more friends, and not all of them were of the best influence. Because of my desire to be accepted by my peers, I began to grow away from the faith and to distrust it instead, believing I was things that I was not. I began to find my identity in worldly and sinful things as opposed to the one true identity which is in Christ. I stewed in my disobedience, with my heart growing increasingly cold towards Christianity. All the while, unbeknownst to me at the time, God’s love and pursuit of me were clear through the faithful efforts of my family, especially in the form of forcing me to go to TIGS (CG’s youth group for middle schoolers). The first year that I attended this ministry was unorthodox, as it was fully virtual. Even so, my sponsors frequently took the initiative to reach out to me and make me feel welcomed. Though my 7th-grade self didn’t necessarily appreciate it at the moment, I can now see very clearly how God has used these wonderful people to nurture my faith and grow my knowledge of the Word. In spite of their efforts, however, I continued in my hard-hearted ways.
It stayed that way for a while. I begrudgingly attended church services and youth group, holding my pre-existing opinions of the messages ready in my mind before they were even delivered. You see, I did not believe in an understanding, just, kind, and unfathomably merciful God. The God that I thought I knew was harsh, gave no second chances, and was cruel.
The first time that this belief of mine was challenged was during an Easter sermon a few years ago. It was about faith, its importance, and how much of it God requires. I remember going into the sermon, cynically assuming that God requires a perfect, infallible, and unwavering faith. I was shocked to hear that God does not, in fact, require a flawless faith, but accepts the shakiest and smallest faith that He is given (assuming that it is a true and genuine faith). (If you’re curious about this subject, you should talk to Pastor Tranwei. He was the one who preached this sermon three years ago). Anyway, this was the first crack that forced itself into my pessimistic thinking about Christianity. I began to consider the possibility that I might in fact be wrong.
Later that year, I attended my first year of CBM camp. There, I learned more about the Word of God and was surrounded with counselors and friends, people my age, who were more seasoned in their walks with Christ, and I heard and comprehended the gospel for the first time. I understood that God became flesh, lived a perfect and blameless life, was crucified and died in the place of sinners, after three days came back to life, and made our redemption possible. I was confronted with my own lack of love for and understanding of God. I realized that, if what He says is true, that He did send His one and only son to die for us on the cross, if I, an undeserving sinner, who was so freely given this gift of immaculate grace by the eternal and powerful Father, how could I even consider not praising God? How could I even think of not accepting this merciful gift of redemption? Ephesians 2:4-6 says, “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of his great love that He had for us, made us alive with Christ even though we were dead in trespasses. You are saved by grace!” So, the Lord opened my eyes to see the extent and weight of my sin, the purity and goodness of God, and the grace of my Savior. It was then that I repented of my sins and decided to put my trust in the sacrifice of Christ.
Since then, God has been immeasurably kind and faithful to me, allowing me to want to seek Him and live for Him. Though I still struggle with sin, He has placed in me a desire to repent and to draw close to Him, not to run from Him. Out of my gratitude for His grace, I now strive to work towards a life of obedience to God that pleases Him and, Lord willing, will further His Kingdom. I no longer must fear death and can look towards the Throne with full confidence and trust because of Christ’s sacrifice for me. All of this, along with a desire to take this step of obedience, is why I am here today, about to be baptized.